Parent Teacher Conferences are difficult for both parents and teachers. These meetings are often tense and communication is clouded by anger or distrust. But meetings between parents and teachers should be positive and only about helping the child perform better in the classroom.
Parents are often intimidated by the school environment because they feel out of place or like an intruder. The parent can ensure a positive experience by doing a few simple things for the meeting:
1. Don't let the parent teacher conference be the only time you are in the school. Back to school night, PTA meetings, festivals, parent's day, lunch with your child (if the school allows this) are good ways to become familiar with the school and let faculty see your face.
2. Call or email the teacher throughout the year and ask how their child is doing, how the teacher is doing, and if there is anything you can do to help. Providing a ream of copy paper, a few bottles of glue, or snacks for a class reward will go a long way in making a teacher's life easier and open up the door to positive communication.
3. Prepare a checklist of things you want to cover during the parent teacher conference. This is the BEST thing you can do to have a positive interaction with the teacher. As the teacher covers each item, check it off of your list. If you don't do this, you will be back home before you remember the most important thing you needed to talk to the teacher about. With each teacher meeting with so many parents, time is limited so this keeps both of you focused on what the child needs.
4. Ask clarifying questions. Teachers live in this world of education day in and day out. We have our own specialized language we use to talk about education. When we slip a word in there you don't recognize, ask us to explain! We don't mind at all.
The teacher can prepare for the meeting by doing five simple things:
1. Contact the parent often before things go wrong. With email, text, and cell phones, there is no reason a teacher should be waiting until grade cards come out to inform a parent there is a problem. If this happens, the teacher will be blamed for whatever the problem is.
2. Document the attempts you have made to contact parents and what their response has been to the situation. You can keep a sheet of paper in your gradebook, save email exchanges, or however you best keep notes.
3. Ask the child what they need to perform better. Specifically ask what you could do to help them and what their parents could do to help them. Don't let the kid off the hook with a shrug or an "I don't know." Be persistent until they give you some concrete ideas.
4. Write a list of the topics you need to cover with the parent. A script is ok. It will make you seem professional, prepared, and caring. Parents like all three of those things.
5. Try to speak without professional jargon. I have been called on this more than once by a parent. We talk like this to each other every day and forget parents don't understand the vocabulary associated with our profession. Tell the parent at the beginning of the conference that if you use a teacher word, the parent needs to ask you to explain it and they won't hurt your feelings.
These steps will go a long way in helping both parents and teachers come away from the meeting satisfied. You will often find the child has been playing the two of you against each other to avoid work they find difficult or distasteful. Either way, teacher and parent should both be working toward helping the child be more successful in school.
Parent Teacher Conference Resources
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